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D.O.B: 30/08/1987 Status: Single Orientation: Straight Eye Colour: Blue Hair Colour: Blonde Fav Colours: Black, Red, Purple, Blue Siblings: 2 Sisters (Kayleigh - 23 And Sam - 18) Smoke: No Drink: Occasionally
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February 2009
April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 September 2009 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 December 2010
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Wednesday, December 08, 2010
a world far far away.......
Im in pain because of the ice, i slipped and felll and bashed my left side so it really hurts. I really hate snow and i hate it even more when it turns to ice. Every morning i look outside hoping that it would just disappear but still no luck, dosnt seem to be going anywhere for a while.
I have a Christmas job that will end on Christmas Eve. Its at Clinton Cards, its not a bad job but wuuldn't want to work there forever. The people who work there are nice, well to talk to at work probably wouldnt keep in touch when i finish. I'm only doing 16 hours so ts not really going to payoff what ive spent on myt or i ay just do it we'll see. I do prefer working on the til to stocking or walking around the floor the till is fun. Even those 16 hurs dont really fill up my week, i still come home alone. I sit in my room watching tv shows, making graphics, wrting and i sometimes just sit staring into space thinking what if..what if i lived in a different world if i was somebody new, somebody who was less shy, not self concious, someone who could making friends easy and not sit aone in a room all of the time. It would be nice to not be so alone. Then i come back to reality and realize i cant change, i dont have the strength to change, so alone always i must be. And this makes me cry sometimes just sit and cry. Being slone and upset also make me eat so im gaining more weight which also effects my confidence. I dont know how to stop being like i am. Its almost christmas the one day i wont be alone and i may actually have fun with my family. But the day goes by pretty fast and then i'l be stuck in my room again alone and without ajob. I'm almost losing what little hope i had for a nice life. but maybe there is still a spark left and maybe i will change. Only the future will tell. |